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A joke for the day (year maybe)

Chap A:   I met a lady of horizontal refreshment today called Rolex.

Chap B:   Oh, really. Any relation to the watch company?

Chap A:   No, same price, different movement..........

Another Pearly Gates type story

St Peter was at the gates of heaven interviewing prospective members.

He turns to the next in line and asked the man "What was your occupation on earth my son?"

The man replied "I was a preacher"

"Oh, that is an admirable occupation" said St Peter and he proceeded to hand a nicely stitched cotton jacket and a wooden staff to the preacher to help him on his way.

St Peter then turned to the next person in the line and asked his occupation.

"I was a taxi driver" the man said.

Oh, that is really good said St Peter and proceeded to hand the man a gold lame jacket and a jewel encrusted staff to aid him in his travels.

On seeing this the preacher asked St Peter "St Peter, I am a preacher and this man is a taxi driver so why do I only get a cotton jacket and wooden staff?

"Ah, my son, a very good question" said St Peter. 

"The reason is that people must enter heaven on merit and in your job your customers only prayed ONE day a week whereas the taxi driver's customers prayed EVERY day of the week!"

Seen in car windows

Wife & Dog missing - reward for dog!

(for the purposes of Political Correctness substitute Husband for Wife)

On back of truck/trailer unit

If you can't stop in time ...  smile as you go under!